Day 143

Ava's gas was 71 today and 63. Ok, but not super great. Thankfully, she's still on the vent and now she is back to eating. Her nurse today told me that it's going to be awhile before she gets better. Her primary nurse tonight told me that she hear Ava aspirated (had food go into her lungs) into her lungs and that was what was causing all of this. I didn't hear that at all, so I don't even know if that is true. She is on about 85% O2 and satting in the high 80s or low 90s.

I appreciate the comments and emails after my vent yesterday. This experience has been an eye-opener for me as well, realizing that I can and could help more people in need. If you feel convicted, I hope that you will help out a friend in need, whether it's picking up the phone and listening to them, or even bringing over a meal for them. Anthony shared this youtube video to me about anguish. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGMG_PVaJoI
Feel free to watch it, it talks a lot about how anguish can help you find God, and about the difference between anguish and concern.

So, I had a suggestion from my friend to put out a list. I do feel awkward asking but this helped (and is helping) my friend through her hard times. She has suggested the following:

Ongoing needs:
- someone could on a weekly basis pick up your laundry take it home and bring it back washed and folded and separated into piles
- at a time you are at home they could come over and clean - like vacuum, mop, put dishes away, clean bathroom
- bring meals - maybe twice a week
- contact - call, leave messages, text, post on blog, cards
- watching the girls in Buffalo so you can bring them with you in the car
- needed toys/clothes for girls/Ava
- watching the girls at your home so you can nap/pump/work
- mow the lawn since Anthony never has enough time
- when Anthony is gone come over in the evening, help get girls into bed and then watch a movie and have a snack and adult time together

I do thank you Elena for your offering of babysitting, and Fran for your card and gift card on a day that I really needed it. I must say my Mom has some great friends. It's not as if there aren't people that do some things. It's that the people I thought I/we are close to haven't called in a month or more, and have virtually disappeared, while others when I ask for specific things to help my children - won't, or they expect me to be on top of things all the time and plan ahead.

I have never been in such an extreme circumstance before, and hopefully most people I know won't ever be. People really don't have to have the right thing to say, I would rather talk about something else other than Ava and our problems. I love pretty much talking to others and getting my mind off Ava, because right now, it's too hard to think about what's she's going through. I don't expect people to drop what their doing and think about us all the time, but a phone call every once in a while is nice. I think most people in need feel the same way.

Praying for Ava's healing...