Day 219

Ava's gasses were good this morning so they went down in her pressure support and then her gas was in the 80s. They gave her albuterol and her gas came down to 62. Later at 4pm it was in the 80s again, but tonight it was actually 40! She is on 50% O2, 34 bpm, peep of 5.

They are sedating and paralyzing her still. I don't really understand why they just won't let her be. They get annoyed when she wakes up and gets agitated a bit. Her eyes are all over the place and she can't focus well. It's been exactly two weeks since I held her last. I'm saddened because I can never get those two weeks back.

Alexandra said the sweetest thing tonight. She asked Anthony and I who can kiss Ava on the lips (because we were kissing Ava on her feet tonight). We said "no one can kiss Ava on the lips." She said "Yeah, someone can kiss her on the lips. God! God can kiss her on the lips." Thank you God for bringing us a smile through our first born. May God bless Alexandra for helping us keep our sanity.

Praying for Ava to grow lungs...