Day 118 - 41 Weeks

Ava is still on 100% O2. I'm not sure how to feel about this. This could be a temporary condition like things usually are, but when you live in a day by day status not wanting to be dictated by your circumstances, this could be a huge problem.


Ava is still at 100% O2 this evening and her gas was 70. Not good. My girls in the car this evening were begging God to "Please bring Ava home. She is such a cutie." When we were at dinner tonight, Ariana got sick all of the place so we had to pack up the food that we had just gotten (the food didn't get hit) and leave. I am praying that she is not contagious and feels better soon. As well as Ava doesn't get sick from it either. If we get sick, we won't be able to go see Ava tomorrow.


Ava now weighs 7 lbs 2 oz. Her blood gas is now 56. She is satting in the mid 90s.

My good friend Jenn sent me a link to a blog that has been seen on the Focus on the Family and has quite a few followers about her baby that she lost: http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ 
I have not read much of it yet but she is a great writer, much better than I and is much more descriptive, and I honestly am exhausted by the time I am typically writing this, to write gorgeous prose. She just wrote on her January 23, 2008 post the following:
"We are not praying because we believe that God will heal our Audrey. We don't know that He will. We are praising Him because He can."
My thought on this as I sit here (supposed to be in the shower but instead I'm thinking about all the feelings that are running through me), and I am hoping this is coming from a biblically based woman, but I feel that God has instilled a feeling in me that Ava is supposed to get through this and get home to us and she will be fine. I believe strongly that God is going to heal Ava. It's harder to think that every day when Ava is not better, but she is still living. I don't know how much of her life is called "living", but she is here, and she is still a baby and she will forget all these things. I know that she wants to be home with her family more than anything, and my arms and heart ache for her every day. Most days I feel as if my heart is going to break in a million pieces and why can't my baby be home with us? My beautiful Ava that has never done anything wrong and will be an asset to this world. I do feel this is all in God's time, but things need to happen. It's not good for her to be on 100% O2. She is at her maximum. And I think we are too.
Praying for Ava's healing...